John Memories

The measure of a good man are the memories people have of him when he's gone.  When I look back on the years I?ve known John I smile and I laugh.

As a young girl I remember being so in awe of my mom's devilishly handsome cousin, John and his sooo pretty wife Tina.  I always hoped that one day I would have a marriage that looked as wonderful as theirs.

Travelling to London in later years I always knew my cheerful and willing chauffeur and tour guide, John, was ready to jump into action.  John was one of the most unselfish and giving men I've known.  Visits from the "Canadians" were never an inconvenience to him.  He always gave up his time to show us a good time.

My fondest memories of John started when email became the way to communicate.  The arrival of John's emails were momentous occasions.  My husband and I would "chuckle" at John's wry sense of humour.  His emails exemplify the kind of man he was a great storyteller and a man who always had a way of seeing the world with a sense of humour even under the most trying of circumstances.  Here are a few excerpts from John's emails.  They say more about the kind of man he was than I can say in words:

December, 1999

Subject:  Another Day!

It's getting all Xmassy around here.  If you stand still for a moment, Tina sprays you gold and sticks holly in your ear.  Will join Lee this evening for another futile search for something that Tina really needs for Christmas.  He and I just put super new wheels on her Mini as a present but it's difficult to keep this as a surprise and I think she has noticed despite the fact that we have hung notices around the car saying "please don't look before you get in" but I think she does!

August 2001

Subject:  Surviving the Life!

Whatever dose the doc gave me sure worked on the hair this time.  Not a whisker left!  Tina, at her sick, humourous best provided me with "Wash'n Go" shampoo and Go was gone in no time.  About 3 days after the last vestige had disappeared, I'm standing in the shower with my everpresent drip stand and gently shampooing my head when the blinding thought occurs "what the hell am I doing!"  Now it's a quick wipe with a damp flannel!

February 2002

Subject:  Safari to Darkest Africa

I went with Lee to cross the border as I'd never set foot on the African continent, but I have to say I chickened out when it came to approaching the Moroccan border.  There were hundreds of nefarious characters being directed by Mullahs up on the hillside and all with the singular intent of slitting my throat and doing unspeakable things to me.  I was very relieved when Lee rode up alongside me and said "Dad, you don't want to do this cross over and head back.  I was never so happy to get back to civilization and to get a call from Lee that he had made it through and still had a bike and his virginity??

When all's said and done people will not remember who the Nobel and Pullitzer prize winners were nor the last Academy award winners, but they will remember the friends who have helped them through difficult times, the people who made you feel appreciated and special, the people you enjoyed spending time with and the heroes whose stories inspired you.

John is my hero.  I wish I could be there in person to honour and celebrate his life. My thoughts are with all of you, especially Tina and Lee whom John lovingly called "his support team."  Love to you both.

Hugs and kisses from Cheryl, Enrico, Marc, Frank and Daniella.

Remembering John

Remembering John, my "Cuz" from his "Cuz" across the water.

So sorry Tina and Lee that we cannot be with you.  Our thoughts are with you both.

I have such an abundance of wonderful memories of John, I could fill a book.  I remember the great times we had as kids when my sister Kit and I couldn't wait for our trips to Penge and how cousin John made everything so much fun for us.  I am sure Reg, Bill and Ruby will remember those Sundays well.

The family parties and the warm, loving, and always "funny" cousin John.  He was the life of the party and things were never dull when he was around.  He always made us feel "happy".

Also the family visits to the local pub in Wales with the warm comraderie of singing and fooling around, and John never let us down with his great sense of humour.

On our trips to England we would arrive at Heath Row and always waiting with a big smile on his face was John, always ready to run us around no matter what the time or where.  I remember on one occasion he took us for a drive and had us all in stitches by taking half a dozen turns on the roundabouts.  I was waiting for the local police to stop us but nothing phased John, he was just having a great time.

Then there was the daily search for e-mail from John and Tina.  I knew that however I might be feeling at the time, a letter from John would make me feel good.  When things were not going so well for him we hoped and prayed that the mail would bring some good news.  Even through all of those difficult times we would still receive upbeat messages from him, never anything negative, he would just continue to make light of the situation.

I could go on forever reiterating what a great guy he was but for now I would just like to quote a line from one of my mother's favourite poets, Patience Strong.  It was called "Coming and Going" and she said, to quote:

"Do not say you are going through a time of suffering, say you are coming through it". This is how I remember John, he never believed he was going through a bad time!  Always with a smile on his face, a positive word, a funny quote, he was always "coming through it".

Tina, although things are difficult for you right now, I know that over the last few years you and John have made the most of the precious time you have had together leaving you with some great memories to hold onto.  I know that he will live on in your life and in the lives of all the others who knew him.

John - from Fay and Cliff.  We  wish you "God speed on your last journey."

Until we meet again, your loving "Cuz" Fay.